Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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