my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
