so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
tell me about the fingering
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
