party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
...so i touched it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.