Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Less talking, more tequila
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They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.