I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
