Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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