I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
