So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
