I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
