If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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