How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.