Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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