For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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