i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
