god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
