So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
