So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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