did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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