I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize