Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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