There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
