i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
