His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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