Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
