It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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