I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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