Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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