It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
