I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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