People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
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Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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