Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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