is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize