You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
