the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
