"it" just moved
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
