Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
