ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
