I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
