no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
