Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
