two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
