ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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