So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
