They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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