THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
