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i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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