I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
