Don't make out with my wife yet
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
