When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
