Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize