This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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