What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize