Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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