It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
