I'm lost and stupid without you.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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