If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
