Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize