I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Please, let me fuck your mom
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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